She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
