You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.