youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We talked him into tasing himself.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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