I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You're like the curious george of whores
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
