Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
