Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
