Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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