hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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