i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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