i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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