dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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