At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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