i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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