matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
