I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize