im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
