bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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