hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
