my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
