Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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