why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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