So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She needs sedatives and a leash
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
