yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
