is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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