Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
