3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
NoShamevember. You game?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
