Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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