Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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