You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
