"it" just moved
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
