Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
