What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
two words: eviction party
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
