cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
