I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
