i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i will never coherently bang her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize