Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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