I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize