forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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