I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
