So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
