So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
