well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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