so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
