fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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