make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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