the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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