Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize