I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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