I hate your face
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
