Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if only i could text you this smell
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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