who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
