where am i from again
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
