garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That accounts for only three of the penises
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
