i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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