I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize