At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
