Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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