lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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