yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
