I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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