i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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