i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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