hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
